Thursday, June 10, 2010

Well Thought Out Twinkles

Hey look, I'm done with year three. Seriously, this is nutso. I was talking to one of my credential/masters program classmates and we agree. It's this weird place between feeling like a complete n00b and feeling like a seasoned veteran. I suppose with the crap I've seen in the three years at my school, it's a fast learning curve.

Once again I find that I have a lot of thoughts about the end of this year. I'll write about some of them today, maybe pick up on the others in later entries.

One such thought/feeling that I've only begun to unearth from the depths of my subconscious.. is that I'm tired of being shat on. I personally subscribe to the notion of "being the change you want to be in the world" which is a large part (if not the whole part) of why I decided to teach the particular population that I teach. I don't want to be one of those people who complains about the direction this state/country/society/world is heading in without actually doing anything about it. So I became a teacher. I like to think I'm doing my part, maybe making some small difference for my little sphere of 150 students a year. I'm doing what I can. I'm not saying this to guilt trip anyone into becoming a teacher or volunteering at the local food bank, because what I want to say next is that it's frikkin' hard to believe that you can actually help bring about change in this world.

The end of this school year had a strange flavor to it. I couldn't put my finger on it for the longest time. This year, unlike last year, I was around for all the end-of-the-year planning, meetings, parties, and celebrations. But instead of the celebratory "hey we did/made it!" feeling permeating everything, there was this feeling of.. what the crap are we getting ourselves into?!?!

I think it has to do with our school being attacked from all sides and the uncertainty that it all leaves behind. I already mentioned the bottom 5% designation and how the state is forcing us to restructure. We're going with the transformative model.. which means things like changing things up drastically and extending the learning day. I wrote previously about how our school loses an English teacher and a math teacher each year because of our declining enrollment and diminishing budget, this year is no different. We're also losing a physical education teacher, which is pretty nutso in itself when you take into consideration that the PE dept is only three deep to begin with. We've had these SF Chron journalists on our case all year, hell bent for some reason on smearing our school image (for what? We already have enough trouble getting families outside the neighborhood to be ok with sending their kids to school here).

I should mention that we might be losing our Wellness Center coordinator because of some HR ass-hat-ness. Nevermind the fact that she's been in her position for 8 years, she's facing losing her job to someone with much less experience than her because a credential for her position did not exist in the early years at her job. It's nonsense. Don't get me started. I just know that our kids need her. A n00b would take years to build up the trust they have in her and be able to effectively serve their needs.

So that's how the state and district have been kicking our asses. But here's a new one.. how we're internally kicking our own asses. Each year there's a deadline for voluntary consolidations/resignations, which is really just a courtesy to the other staff members. Think: If you tell us you're already planning to leave, then we don't have to lay off/consolidate someone because we can plan on not having your position anymore. I get that it's a courtesy and people don't always know exactly what their plans are, but for the past three years at least one of the consolidated teachers could have been saved if people who were already planning to leave had the balls to say it. I'd like to think that if it were me, and I was thinking of leaving, I'd let them know as soon as I could (or maybe even before my plans were set) just so they wouldn't have to go through the unfortunate situation of being let go and having to find somewhere else. A little decency, I don't think it's too much to ask.

And that's how we're ending the year. At last count, there are eight staff members not returning next year (nine if our Wellness Coordinator's layoff holds). We have less and less money, less people.. yep. Still trying to "be the change" but it's getting harder to believe.