I've been silent. Because it's mostly been going well this year. As a third year teacher, I feel like a veteran. I was at a math department meeting and the new math teacher turned to me and asked me if I was new. I said, "No." I probably was a little snarky when I said that.. but c'mon, am I new?? Just because I look 15 and you've never seen me before, doesn't mean I'm the one who doesn't belong. Ok that had nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was funny/offensive.
Yes, third year PHYSICS is going well. Even with trying out Interactive Notebooks for the first time (LOVE THEM), teaching physics is like second nature. It fits. I'm happiest when I'm teaching that class and those kids. Today I was teaching Newton's Third Law and throwing around all these examples and demos, got up on my mini-trampoline and just bounced. The kids laughed and I was having fun.
Why can't teaching freshmen be like that? Earth science is getting easier, and I'm so so so very grateful to my coworker who plans with me (more like lets me in on her plans for the class and takes care of all the copies/prep). The class is suffering, though, from first period syndrome--starting the class off with 10 people on time. Kind of reminds me of my first year teaching chemistry first period.. although this class is supposed to be about 40.
What's really killing me is algebra. Yes, this time it's my second year teaching algebra. I can no longer say that I'm a first year algebra teacher. I can't use it as my excuse anymore. So why do I suck at it so much? It's just one class of maybe 17 freshmen.. but at least once a week it makes me question if I'd come back next year if I had to teach it again. Which, if you know anything about me and how much I love love LOVE my school, is a pretty big deal.
Today I couldn't even start the class. I literally sat there, using every ounce of self-control in my body to keep myself from exploding, throwing something, or telling them all to just STFU. I kicked a kid out and another kid followed him out.. and I didn't even care. I was glad they were gone. I wanted to kick more out. I wanted to kick them all out, except maybe five of them. And this is what is killing me.. because I'm not that teacher. They bring the worst out of me and I can't even blame them because it's not really their fault that they act like children. That's what they are. They're basically still in middle school and it's supposed to be my job to teach them how to do high school, how to become my juniors and seniors that I can treat as adults.
But I don't know how to do that. And it's killing me.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
One of These Things First
I survived the first week! It was really tiring, but it looks like this is going to be a good year. It's taking me a bit to learn all my freshies' names (don't blame me, there are 44 in my Earth Science class!) but the juniors and seniors do not disappoint. The dust hasn't quite settled on student schedules, so hopefully my class sizes will go down in the next few days. It's been so great seeing familiar faces and getting to hang out with the kids again. So here's some fodder to get you started on this year.. answers from different students on an "All About Me" questionnaire:
Describe something in nature that you would like to know more about.I would like to no [sic] more about homeless people that are in the street why they are thereOne time I was walking on the beach and I saw a dog jump of a cliff. I wana know what the hell was it thinking.If you could spend a day with anyone, who would you choose and why?I would choose my mom because I never spent a whole day with my mom and it would make me happy to see her have a good time outdoors.What can I, as your teacher, do to make this class more engaging for you?be you Ms. Chew the crazy hyper you.Do you have any questions for me, your teacher?Not really uhm you're cool so far. This is more of a comment.What do you like least about school?The birds.
Friday, August 14, 2009
(Just Like) Starting Over
Hello hello and welcome to my blog, now in its third year running. That's right, ladies and gents.. we are about to embark on year THREE of this epic quest that is my teaching career. Lest you think that since I will be a fully tenured teacher the battles will cease and it's all smooth sailing from here, here's a look at the changes in store for our brave heroine..
But can I pause a minute and whine/vent just a little? I promise it won't take too long. I know I don't have much to complain about since I still have my job and I still get to be at the school I love.. but can I for ONCE just do the job I was trained and hired for? I teach physics. I teach PHYSICS. I got the math credential so I wouldn't have to teach chem again but it's not what I was trained to do. Teaching math is not what I'm good at, by any stretch of the imagination. And now I might have physics, geometry AND earth science. Earth science WTC?!? What do I know about the rock cycle? Climate? Ecosystems?? Oh yea.. geometry? Side-angle-side theorem and pi=3.1415..? At least my principal gave me a heads up about the geometry and asked how I felt about it. There's a good chance that it'll be switched back to algebra. And the main earth science teacher is a rockstar so I have someone really solid to piggy-back off of.
Part of what this means, and what I'm trying to avoid thinking about.. is that I'll be teaching two sections of freshmen. Ahh freshmen, the bane of my existence last year. Who knows, maybe we'll get a batch that aren't gang bangers selling screwdrivers during standardized testing. But beyond not feeling adequate teaching subjects that I'm not familiar with.. I REALLY don't feel adequate teaching that age group. I'm not entirely warm and nuturing. I don't like holding the kids' hands. Don't mistake my heart for my kids for coddling. I try to treat my juniors and seniors like little adults. They make their choices and they live with the consequences. Freshmen still need to be taught about what that's like. I don't know that I'm the one that can teach them that.
Anyways. I just needed to get that out of my system. But like I said.. I was expecting this. So. One more week of summer (minus three days of PD and meetings) and then it's go time. I'm almost ready.
- "New" principal. Our principal took a job at the district office and our assistant principal is moving up to the principalship. (Is that a word?)
- His assistant principal vacancy will be filled by a man by the name of Mr. Chew. (I kid you not! I haven't met him yet.)
- Our other assistant principal will be on maternity leave for the beginning month or so. She is temporarily relieved by a man my coworkers call the Sith?
- Two of my favorite senior teachers are not returning. Two other teachers are also not returning, but I wasn't as close to them.
- One of the new hires is from Teach for America. I promise to do my best to play nice.
- Trying out interactive notebooks with the physics kids.
- I may be teaching three preps.
But can I pause a minute and whine/vent just a little? I promise it won't take too long. I know I don't have much to complain about since I still have my job and I still get to be at the school I love.. but can I for ONCE just do the job I was trained and hired for? I teach physics. I teach PHYSICS. I got the math credential so I wouldn't have to teach chem again but it's not what I was trained to do. Teaching math is not what I'm good at, by any stretch of the imagination. And now I might have physics, geometry AND earth science. Earth science WTC?!? What do I know about the rock cycle? Climate? Ecosystems?? Oh yea.. geometry? Side-angle-side theorem and pi=3.1415..? At least my principal gave me a heads up about the geometry and asked how I felt about it. There's a good chance that it'll be switched back to algebra. And the main earth science teacher is a rockstar so I have someone really solid to piggy-back off of.
Part of what this means, and what I'm trying to avoid thinking about.. is that I'll be teaching two sections of freshmen. Ahh freshmen, the bane of my existence last year. Who knows, maybe we'll get a batch that aren't gang bangers selling screwdrivers during standardized testing. But beyond not feeling adequate teaching subjects that I'm not familiar with.. I REALLY don't feel adequate teaching that age group. I'm not entirely warm and nuturing. I don't like holding the kids' hands. Don't mistake my heart for my kids for coddling. I try to treat my juniors and seniors like little adults. They make their choices and they live with the consequences. Freshmen still need to be taught about what that's like. I don't know that I'm the one that can teach them that.
Anyways. I just needed to get that out of my system. But like I said.. I was expecting this. So. One more week of summer (minus three days of PD and meetings) and then it's go time. I'm almost ready.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
In Memory Of...
To: Ms. Chew
From: Fredy
Seems like yesterday that you were
filling the house with stories and jokes
of how things were back in the good ol' days,
of how tradition is important and so is culture.
Seems like yesterday that my music and
clothes made you laugh.
Yet today... the house looks empty and the
clouds roll in, the stories are muted
and the jokes are humorless.
The house cries, because you are gone.
But you are still here in my sorrow
and my tears.
in my smile and laughter
in the walls of my heart that
will always keep you in and
will never let you go.
--F.S.
The poem one of my seniors wrote for me after I told him about my grandma passing away. It's moments like these that show me the love goes both ways.
From: Fredy
Seems like yesterday that you were
filling the house with stories and jokes
of how things were back in the good ol' days,
of how tradition is important and so is culture.
Seems like yesterday that my music and
clothes made you laugh.
Yet today... the house looks empty and the
clouds roll in, the stories are muted
and the jokes are humorless.
The house cries, because you are gone.
But you are still here in my sorrow
and my tears.
in my smile and laughter
in the walls of my heart that
will always keep you in and
will never let you go.
--F.S.
The poem one of my seniors wrote for me after I told him about my grandma passing away. It's moments like these that show me the love goes both ways.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The Finish Line
So between my last post and now, a lot has happened. A lot has happened. In short, we had a successful project week, reviewed for finals, had finals, and I finished grading and packed up my room for the summer. I also finished our teacher induction program BTSA (unaffectionately dubbed SHITSA by all who go through it) and upon day one of next year, I will be a fully tenured teacher of the San Francisco Unified School District.
In long, there's so much more to explain about the malestorm that was the end of my second year teaching.
It started off with awesomeness. School of Rock was so much fun.. highlights include spending 3 days playing guitar with kids, hanging out in the Haight, and spending time on and backstage at the Fillmore. Our project was wildly successful, the kids had a great time and I would definitely do it again next year. With the one big change of pushing harder to get local bands to come and visit.. including hounding Green Day even more.
As we started wrapping up the year, I began to realize how much I was really going to miss this year's graduating class. They were my babies.. the juniors that were with me my first year of teaching were going to graduate and move on. Granted, the ones who repeated physics with me their senior year were not the best students, but more often than not they were the most fun because we had those two years of building relationships between us. I imagine had I taught freshmen all along, this is how I would feel when my first freshmen class graduated.
Prom was so great. I love that our kids treat their prom much differently than other kids might. While some kids might see prom as a night to goof off and cause trouble, our kids see prom as a really special night (partly because they can't afford to get dolled up and go out all that often) so they are really there to have some good clean fun. Most of my favorite seniors were there and I got to spend some more cherished time with them. The night came and went with barely a hitch.
By the time prom rolled around my classes were in full exam-prep mode. This time of year is a busy time for both students and teachers alike. They have final projects to finish and exams to prepare for. We have exams to write, give, and score, as well as grades to finalize and turn in and classrooms to clean up and tear down. It's not the ideal time (although there probably isn't one) for a personal crisis to come in and make your walls come crashing down.
I was still at school when I got the phone call from my sister saying that my grandma was probably not going to make it through the night. Thursdays are busy days and I had just stopped by my classroom in between after-school tutoring and heading off to an end-of-the-year awards ceremony for our kids. I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls from her and a text that said "Gma's really sick, going to the nursing home now." I called her back right away and she gave me the news.. she probably wasn't going to make it.
Now I know up until this point this blog has been centered around my life as a teacher. I ruminate about my personal life elsewhere, sometimes on Xanga, most times in my journal. But this time there was no clearly drawn line.. my personal life invaded my school life.
By the time I hung up the phone with my family, my grandma was gone. And there I was, walls crashing down around me, still in my classroom. It was all I could do to call a coworker in to sit with me for a while before I gathered enough composure to walk home. That night and the next day, my family and I came to the decision that I would finish out the school year as much as I could and come home for the funeral the following weekend.
Which meant six days of business as usual to the untrained eye. In retrospect, I think it was good for me to keep going in to work to keep me busy and keep me out of my own head. But at the time it took all my strength to get out of bed each morning, especially the first Friday. Two of my students noticed a difference in my temperament and when I explained they were ever-so-sweet in comforting me. The president of our FreeSpeak poetry club even wrote me a poem in tribute to my grandma.
It took me until the Senior Breakfast on Wednesday to bring myself to tell my seniors that I wouldn't be going to graduation this year. And while of course this wasn't the biggest tragedy in my life, I was still pretty torn apart that I would miss it. It made the last moments I spent with my seniors all the more precious. Graduation last year happened to fall on my birthday, and was by far the best birthday present I had ever gotten. Graduation was the one day that made all the other days worth it and I wouldn't miss it for the world. Just trying to give you an idea of how big missing graduation was for me.
So in the end I came home before the official last day of school. I worked with the teachers of my seventh period Algebra class so that I could have them take their finals early and I missed graduation. I pushed so hard to just finish out the year that even now as I write, sitting on the couch of my sister's house in Maryland, I still don't feel like it's over.
Maybe I'll come back and polish up this entry a bit more later, but what I really wanted to say was this.. it's over. My second year of teaching is over. For the most part, it was smoother than the first, but it definitely didn't end the same way last year did. I'm no longer a probationary contract teacher. When I pick this blog up again next August.. I'll be a third year teacher. I'm still in the process of digesting this.
In long, there's so much more to explain about the malestorm that was the end of my second year teaching.
It started off with awesomeness. School of Rock was so much fun.. highlights include spending 3 days playing guitar with kids, hanging out in the Haight, and spending time on and backstage at the Fillmore. Our project was wildly successful, the kids had a great time and I would definitely do it again next year. With the one big change of pushing harder to get local bands to come and visit.. including hounding Green Day even more.
As we started wrapping up the year, I began to realize how much I was really going to miss this year's graduating class. They were my babies.. the juniors that were with me my first year of teaching were going to graduate and move on. Granted, the ones who repeated physics with me their senior year were not the best students, but more often than not they were the most fun because we had those two years of building relationships between us. I imagine had I taught freshmen all along, this is how I would feel when my first freshmen class graduated.
Prom was so great. I love that our kids treat their prom much differently than other kids might. While some kids might see prom as a night to goof off and cause trouble, our kids see prom as a really special night (partly because they can't afford to get dolled up and go out all that often) so they are really there to have some good clean fun. Most of my favorite seniors were there and I got to spend some more cherished time with them. The night came and went with barely a hitch.
By the time prom rolled around my classes were in full exam-prep mode. This time of year is a busy time for both students and teachers alike. They have final projects to finish and exams to prepare for. We have exams to write, give, and score, as well as grades to finalize and turn in and classrooms to clean up and tear down. It's not the ideal time (although there probably isn't one) for a personal crisis to come in and make your walls come crashing down.
I was still at school when I got the phone call from my sister saying that my grandma was probably not going to make it through the night. Thursdays are busy days and I had just stopped by my classroom in between after-school tutoring and heading off to an end-of-the-year awards ceremony for our kids. I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls from her and a text that said "Gma's really sick, going to the nursing home now." I called her back right away and she gave me the news.. she probably wasn't going to make it.
Now I know up until this point this blog has been centered around my life as a teacher. I ruminate about my personal life elsewhere, sometimes on Xanga, most times in my journal. But this time there was no clearly drawn line.. my personal life invaded my school life.
By the time I hung up the phone with my family, my grandma was gone. And there I was, walls crashing down around me, still in my classroom. It was all I could do to call a coworker in to sit with me for a while before I gathered enough composure to walk home. That night and the next day, my family and I came to the decision that I would finish out the school year as much as I could and come home for the funeral the following weekend.
Which meant six days of business as usual to the untrained eye. In retrospect, I think it was good for me to keep going in to work to keep me busy and keep me out of my own head. But at the time it took all my strength to get out of bed each morning, especially the first Friday. Two of my students noticed a difference in my temperament and when I explained they were ever-so-sweet in comforting me. The president of our FreeSpeak poetry club even wrote me a poem in tribute to my grandma.
It took me until the Senior Breakfast on Wednesday to bring myself to tell my seniors that I wouldn't be going to graduation this year. And while of course this wasn't the biggest tragedy in my life, I was still pretty torn apart that I would miss it. It made the last moments I spent with my seniors all the more precious. Graduation last year happened to fall on my birthday, and was by far the best birthday present I had ever gotten. Graduation was the one day that made all the other days worth it and I wouldn't miss it for the world. Just trying to give you an idea of how big missing graduation was for me.
So in the end I came home before the official last day of school. I worked with the teachers of my seventh period Algebra class so that I could have them take their finals early and I missed graduation. I pushed so hard to just finish out the year that even now as I write, sitting on the couch of my sister's house in Maryland, I still don't feel like it's over.
Maybe I'll come back and polish up this entry a bit more later, but what I really wanted to say was this.. it's over. My second year of teaching is over. For the most part, it was smoother than the first, but it definitely didn't end the same way last year did. I'm no longer a probationary contract teacher. When I pick this blog up again next August.. I'll be a third year teacher. I'm still in the process of digesting this.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Rock the Casbah
I can't believe I haven't mentioned this yet.. this year my school is doing something new that I'm actually really excited about. We're suspending regular classes for three days and trying something called School Without Walls (aka SWOW) or Project "Week". I'm really excited about it because my coworker and I came up with a project that ROCKS. Literally. Here's our sexy blurb...
Some other notable projects that my coworkers are running include.. using pinhole cameras to photograph the city, camping out at a pie ranch, a three day college tour, hiking and camping on Angel Island, getting noticed by college soccer coaches and recruiters.. the list is (not quite) endless. Pretty cool stuff, I think.
We'll see how it all goes! Until then.. rock, rock on!
So despite the fact that our studio and our local band fell through, I'm still super-stoked. We still get to jam on the guitars, listen to some choice tunes, watch some rockumentaries, chill in the Haight, hang out backstage at the Fillmore..yes, you heard (read?) me.. we're hangin' out at the Fillmore. Which was my dream all along. Well that and getting Green Day to come by. But they're busy with their new album and tour y'know. So it should be fun.. got a group of 17 kids who are all interested in the project (imagine that, teaching to kids who choose to be there?!?!) and we're kickin' it off tomorrow morning!School of Rock:
Do you have what it takes to really rock?
Playing expert level on Guitar Hero or Rock Band does not make you a rockstar. Come learn about the roots of rock, the movers and shakers in rock history, and where rock music is headed today, especially in the SF Bay Area. Highlights of this project include guitar lessons, a visit to a real rock studio, chatting with a local rock band, and touring a venue in the City. The last day we will finish up with a listening party where you can play a track from your favorite rock artist or perform a live piece in front of an exclusive audience. Rock, rock on!!
Some other notable projects that my coworkers are running include.. using pinhole cameras to photograph the city, camping out at a pie ranch, a three day college tour, hiking and camping on Angel Island, getting noticed by college soccer coaches and recruiters.. the list is (not quite) endless. Pretty cool stuff, I think.
We'll see how it all goes! Until then.. rock, rock on!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of
The shit kind of hit the fan and I'm not where to start, but Vizzini says to go back to the beginning, so here goes.. (it's going to be a long one)
I have this one student, let's call him Ralph, who has spent his whole freshman year on the verge. On the verge of anything.. going gangsta, heading towards college, becoming a pothead, becoming a real person.. and for some reason I gravitate towards him. I've been pulling for him all year. Getting him to run for student counsel, planting thoughts of joining AVID and going to college, getting him excited to be in my physics class in a few years.. I really thought I was getting through to him. Maybe I was naive, but I thought we had a connection. I really thought I could save this one.
But lately he'd been slipping. It was no secret that he'd been experimenting with smoking the ganja and getting to know some questionable characters inside and outside of school. He started cutting class pretty often. And I saw a completely different side of him during his contract meeting.. with his teachers and family around him to support him as we explore if he maybe has dysgraphia (a writing disorder), he completely closed up and closed off and wouldn't even talk to us by the time we left it.
Well last week began the wonderful week of STAR testing. (California's state standardized testing) Notice the sarcasm dripping off each word. This translates into.. 4 hours with my freshmen advisory class each morning, grueling over a multiple choice test that's almost designed for them to fail but doesn't hold them accountable for their performance. It throws off our class schedules and most of the kids are so fried after the testing that they don't even come to class for about a week.. it's a recipe for disaster and mischief.
Last Thursday the scene of the mischievery just happened to be my classroom. Right in front of my nose, Ralph brought vodka into school and shared it with two of his classmates in their orange juice. We'll call one of those kids Emo-kid. He comes back into the story a little later on, unfortunately. Screwdrivers and STAR testing, sounds about right, no? I'm still kicking myself for not catching on because I would have saved us all a world of drama if I had. At least for now.
I don't know who did finally catch on, but by the end of the day the students had been pulled out of their classes and fingers pointed back at Ralph. He was suspended for a few days. (And I'll say right here.. that something is seriously wrong when I didn't find out about any of this until a full day after the vodka sharing. It was in my classroom, for God's sake, shouldn't I be informed??)
But the kicker is that when he finally came back to school, I overheard a pretty disturbing conversation between him and a friend as we were leaving an all school assembly.. I only caught snippets, but what I did hear was plenty.
"He's right there.. what are you gonna do? You gotta do something."
"I don't know man, what should I do? He snitched on me before.. he's gonna snitch on me again."
It was one of those conversations that you kind of wish you could unhear, but once you've heard it, you absolutely can't ignore it. At least, I couldn't. So I walked with Ralph out of the assembly, making small talk and hoping to thwart any further plotting for the time being. Once I got back to my floor I told my coworker what I had heard, and she told me to go straight to the assistant principal with the info. So I called down, and after a little trouble, finally got in touch with the AP. She thanked me for the info and assured me that they'd handle it.
Neither Ralph nor Emo-kid showed up to class seventh period. I found out after school that the very next period, after the assembly, after my phone call to the AP, Ralph had jumped Emo-kid for snitching on him and then fled the campus. Not just got-into-a-fight, but full on attack-from-behind. The school sent the police to his house to pick him up. They handcuffed him, but didn't lock him up. My AP says they're going to push for expulsion. Emo-kid has filed for a restraining order on Ralph.
My coworker today asked me if I filed a report in regards to what I overheard at the assembly. It seems that the fact that it was a pre-meditated act of violence will really seal the deal as grounds for expulsion and pressing charges. And yet.. I'm still torn. I still see this kid in Ralph.. this kid that's on the verge. On the verge of anything.. and with this turn of events, he's found himself on the verge of becoming a true-blue juvenile delinquent. As much as I love and feel for Emo-kid.. I'm worried about Ralph. If he gets expelled from the school/district.. what's next for him? He can barely read/write.. he's not going to get a real education if no one sees his potential and pushes him back from this ledge. I fear that if I do file this report, I'm resigning him to a life of gang-banging and drug dealing.. precisely the future I hoped to help him avoid.
On the other hand, there's nothing forgiveable about what he did. Sure he was pressured into it by a kid possibly more evil than he, but he's still responsible for his actions and choices. And maybe the counseling staff could have handled the vodka situation differently so Ralph wouldn't know that Emo-kid had a hand in his getting in trouble. Maybe I should have noticed the orange juice wasn't right.. I don't know. But what Ralph did was wrong. He should face the consequences of his actions.. now. Rather than later, when the consequences are so much worse than getting kicked out of school.
And what happens to Emo-kid now? Will Ralph's posse avenge his fate by terrorizing him even more than he already has been? There's a reason why I call him Emo-kid, he's already emo without all this nonsense! I guess he's not entirely innocent either, he did share the vodka as opposed to being forced to drink.
I don't know how this story ends. I suspect it has something to do with what I decide to do (or not do) come Monday morning. And that's really, really heavy stuff to grapple with on a Friday night..
I have this one student, let's call him Ralph, who has spent his whole freshman year on the verge. On the verge of anything.. going gangsta, heading towards college, becoming a pothead, becoming a real person.. and for some reason I gravitate towards him. I've been pulling for him all year. Getting him to run for student counsel, planting thoughts of joining AVID and going to college, getting him excited to be in my physics class in a few years.. I really thought I was getting through to him. Maybe I was naive, but I thought we had a connection. I really thought I could save this one.
But lately he'd been slipping. It was no secret that he'd been experimenting with smoking the ganja and getting to know some questionable characters inside and outside of school. He started cutting class pretty often. And I saw a completely different side of him during his contract meeting.. with his teachers and family around him to support him as we explore if he maybe has dysgraphia (a writing disorder), he completely closed up and closed off and wouldn't even talk to us by the time we left it.
Well last week began the wonderful week of STAR testing. (California's state standardized testing) Notice the sarcasm dripping off each word. This translates into.. 4 hours with my freshmen advisory class each morning, grueling over a multiple choice test that's almost designed for them to fail but doesn't hold them accountable for their performance. It throws off our class schedules and most of the kids are so fried after the testing that they don't even come to class for about a week.. it's a recipe for disaster and mischief.
Last Thursday the scene of the mischievery just happened to be my classroom. Right in front of my nose, Ralph brought vodka into school and shared it with two of his classmates in their orange juice. We'll call one of those kids Emo-kid. He comes back into the story a little later on, unfortunately. Screwdrivers and STAR testing, sounds about right, no? I'm still kicking myself for not catching on because I would have saved us all a world of drama if I had. At least for now.
I don't know who did finally catch on, but by the end of the day the students had been pulled out of their classes and fingers pointed back at Ralph. He was suspended for a few days. (And I'll say right here.. that something is seriously wrong when I didn't find out about any of this until a full day after the vodka sharing. It was in my classroom, for God's sake, shouldn't I be informed??)
But the kicker is that when he finally came back to school, I overheard a pretty disturbing conversation between him and a friend as we were leaving an all school assembly.. I only caught snippets, but what I did hear was plenty.
"He's right there.. what are you gonna do? You gotta do something."
"I don't know man, what should I do? He snitched on me before.. he's gonna snitch on me again."
It was one of those conversations that you kind of wish you could unhear, but once you've heard it, you absolutely can't ignore it. At least, I couldn't. So I walked with Ralph out of the assembly, making small talk and hoping to thwart any further plotting for the time being. Once I got back to my floor I told my coworker what I had heard, and she told me to go straight to the assistant principal with the info. So I called down, and after a little trouble, finally got in touch with the AP. She thanked me for the info and assured me that they'd handle it.
Neither Ralph nor Emo-kid showed up to class seventh period. I found out after school that the very next period, after the assembly, after my phone call to the AP, Ralph had jumped Emo-kid for snitching on him and then fled the campus. Not just got-into-a-fight, but full on attack-from-behind. The school sent the police to his house to pick him up. They handcuffed him, but didn't lock him up. My AP says they're going to push for expulsion. Emo-kid has filed for a restraining order on Ralph.
My coworker today asked me if I filed a report in regards to what I overheard at the assembly. It seems that the fact that it was a pre-meditated act of violence will really seal the deal as grounds for expulsion and pressing charges. And yet.. I'm still torn. I still see this kid in Ralph.. this kid that's on the verge. On the verge of anything.. and with this turn of events, he's found himself on the verge of becoming a true-blue juvenile delinquent. As much as I love and feel for Emo-kid.. I'm worried about Ralph. If he gets expelled from the school/district.. what's next for him? He can barely read/write.. he's not going to get a real education if no one sees his potential and pushes him back from this ledge. I fear that if I do file this report, I'm resigning him to a life of gang-banging and drug dealing.. precisely the future I hoped to help him avoid.
On the other hand, there's nothing forgiveable about what he did. Sure he was pressured into it by a kid possibly more evil than he, but he's still responsible for his actions and choices. And maybe the counseling staff could have handled the vodka situation differently so Ralph wouldn't know that Emo-kid had a hand in his getting in trouble. Maybe I should have noticed the orange juice wasn't right.. I don't know. But what Ralph did was wrong. He should face the consequences of his actions.. now. Rather than later, when the consequences are so much worse than getting kicked out of school.
And what happens to Emo-kid now? Will Ralph's posse avenge his fate by terrorizing him even more than he already has been? There's a reason why I call him Emo-kid, he's already emo without all this nonsense! I guess he's not entirely innocent either, he did share the vodka as opposed to being forced to drink.
I don't know how this story ends. I suspect it has something to do with what I decide to do (or not do) come Monday morning. And that's really, really heavy stuff to grapple with on a Friday night..
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