...with my kids.
Sometimes I forget, amongst the firedrills and fistfights and failing grades and peeing on doors, how much I really love my kids. And I know sometimes I just say that because making myself believe it gets me through the day. But today, today I was reminded that I really do love my kids. And they really are what gets me through the day.
Today my kids played in the San Francisco high school soccer championship finals against the rival school. Both our schools are in the same neighborhood and we lost to them in the finals last year, so it was a pretty big deal to play them again this year. I have like half the soccer team (and the cheerleading squad) in my classes, so naturally I had to show up to support them.
It was pouring rain, the field was a giant mud puddle mess, and we lost 2-0, but I couldn't be happier. Going to games and seeing my kids outside of the context of my classroom not only ups my street cred, but (for lack of a better phrase) it warms my heart to see my kids being kids. Hanging out with their friends and getting caught up in the moment. Even Stunna was there, forgetting to act too cool for school and cheering for the team. We had a great turn out of staff at the game and an even greater turnout of students and friends braving the freezing pouring rain to be a part of it all. I forgot how magical high school sports can be. And seeing one of my boys hugging his mom and crying after the game because he is a senior and this is his last game is an image that I will hold on to and cherish for months to come. That broke me. I remembered what my last game senior year was like, and for the first time I voluntarily hugged my kids. Kids being kids. This is what it's all about.
My Stanford buddy DK came up to catch the tail end of the game and just hang out with me in the city, and I couldn't help noticing that as we chatted at the local bar over a drink to thaw out our frozen bodies.. I couldn't stop talking about my kids. About Stunna cheering on the team, about Philip hugging his mom, about my kid in the red shoes who skipped his club tournament in LA to be with his team this weekend.. and it feels good. It feels good to forget about how frustrating and hard this teaching thing has been and just love on my kids. In this moment, right now.. it finally feels right. And I needed to write this feeling down before it's Monday again (or Tuesday, for this week.. 3-day weekend w00t!!) and I have to remind myself what the heck I'm doing this all for.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
Hello, yeah, it's been a while..
..not much, how 'bout you?
It's not that I have a lack of stories to tell and it's not that I haven't had time to write them. There's just a certain level of laziness that settles in and immobilizes me after school, to the point where after I've done all my planning for the next day, I only have the mental capacity to melt in front of the TV, a DVD, or some streaming Heroes/Grey's/Private Practice episodes. Sad? Yes, I know.
This week was crazy. But let me just throw in some stories from last week, before I forget them.
One of my students was absent from school for a day or so, and so when he came back I asked him for his readmit slip. He told me he hadn't gotten one yet because he needed to get his dad to write him a note for missing school. And then he asked, "My dad hasn't come home for a few days.. should I be worried?" Wahlauh.. what are you supposed to say to that?!? It's just him and his dad at home, and he hasn't seen his dad in a few days. I tried to be calm and reasonable, advised him to call some relatives or his dad's friends to see if they know where he's been. In the back of my mind I'm thinking.. do I call CPS?? Thankfully, the story has a (kind of) happy ending. His dad had just been coming home really late and leaving really early, so that he was only home while the kid was asleep. So on the one hand it's good that nothing happened to his dad, but on the other.. the kid still hadn't seen his dad for a few days. That's not so great.
Another student of mine missed some three days in the week, and I found out it was because her dad just died. When she finally came back to school, we were standing outside my classroom door chatting with another student/friend. Friend goes "where have you been?" and she responds "..my dad died?" Like a question. With a confused half smile. Like.. what the heck else can I say? But then her friend asked why she was smiling and laughing.. but I could tell that she was smiling because it sure beats crying. She said it didn't come as a surprise because her dad was drunk all day every day. I wanted so bad to give her a big hug.. but all I could do was give her an awkward pat on the head.
Stunna missed school one day because he was in the hospital. He said he was showing signs of appendicitis so they ran all these tests on him. But then he got tired of it.. and went home. As in.. just decided to up and leave. Knowing full well that if he really did have appendicitis and his appendix ruptured he could die. Because he was tired of waiting. His reasoning- "I figured if they found anything out from my tests they would call me." A seventeen year old's logic never fails.
Ok.. let's switch gears and turn off the world's tiniest violin.. this week was Halloween. Which was the main contributor to the crazy. I did dress up as my alter-ego "Ms. Chew Rocks!!" and it was really fun. My kids loved my outfit. Some of them even said I should dress like that every day. I had been warned by other veteran teachers that I shouldn't really plan on getting much done that day, so I was fine with having a pretty lowkey class. Halloween itself wasn't terribly eventful.. enjoyable, even.
The crazy began the next day. When kids either didn't come to school because they were too hungover from the night before, when they were half dead if they were in school because they had stayed up all night or were crashing from their sugar highs. I literally had to give two girls a time-out in opposite corners of the room because when I turned my back for a hot second, they were PULLING EACH OTHERS' HAIR. Like five year olds. And today the fire alarm went off three times. We only had to evacuate the building twice, but those happened within 15 minutes of each other.. right at the end of 6th period and the beginning of 7th. Which was actually kind of nice because it meant I didn't have to deal with my hell of a 7th for very long. Nonetheless.. it was a crazy end to a crazy week and I was more than happy to get the hell out.
What keeps me going these days is that there are some kids that I absolutely love. The ones that I can kick it with. That somehow I've gained street cred with. I don't have any specific stories to tell about them this time around.. but just know that there's still a part of me that loves my job because of these kids.
I'll end this hodgepodge post a picture of my Halloween getup. Enjoy.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you..
..Ms. Chew Rocks!! \m/
It's not that I have a lack of stories to tell and it's not that I haven't had time to write them. There's just a certain level of laziness that settles in and immobilizes me after school, to the point where after I've done all my planning for the next day, I only have the mental capacity to melt in front of the TV, a DVD, or some streaming Heroes/Grey's/Private Practice episodes. Sad? Yes, I know.
This week was crazy. But let me just throw in some stories from last week, before I forget them.
One of my students was absent from school for a day or so, and so when he came back I asked him for his readmit slip. He told me he hadn't gotten one yet because he needed to get his dad to write him a note for missing school. And then he asked, "My dad hasn't come home for a few days.. should I be worried?" Wahlauh.. what are you supposed to say to that?!? It's just him and his dad at home, and he hasn't seen his dad in a few days. I tried to be calm and reasonable, advised him to call some relatives or his dad's friends to see if they know where he's been. In the back of my mind I'm thinking.. do I call CPS?? Thankfully, the story has a (kind of) happy ending. His dad had just been coming home really late and leaving really early, so that he was only home while the kid was asleep. So on the one hand it's good that nothing happened to his dad, but on the other.. the kid still hadn't seen his dad for a few days. That's not so great.
Another student of mine missed some three days in the week, and I found out it was because her dad just died. When she finally came back to school, we were standing outside my classroom door chatting with another student/friend. Friend goes "where have you been?" and she responds "..my dad died?" Like a question. With a confused half smile. Like.. what the heck else can I say? But then her friend asked why she was smiling and laughing.. but I could tell that she was smiling because it sure beats crying. She said it didn't come as a surprise because her dad was drunk all day every day. I wanted so bad to give her a big hug.. but all I could do was give her an awkward pat on the head.
Stunna missed school one day because he was in the hospital. He said he was showing signs of appendicitis so they ran all these tests on him. But then he got tired of it.. and went home. As in.. just decided to up and leave. Knowing full well that if he really did have appendicitis and his appendix ruptured he could die. Because he was tired of waiting. His reasoning- "I figured if they found anything out from my tests they would call me." A seventeen year old's logic never fails.
Ok.. let's switch gears and turn off the world's tiniest violin.. this week was Halloween. Which was the main contributor to the crazy. I did dress up as my alter-ego "Ms. Chew Rocks!!" and it was really fun. My kids loved my outfit. Some of them even said I should dress like that every day. I had been warned by other veteran teachers that I shouldn't really plan on getting much done that day, so I was fine with having a pretty lowkey class. Halloween itself wasn't terribly eventful.. enjoyable, even.
The crazy began the next day. When kids either didn't come to school because they were too hungover from the night before, when they were half dead if they were in school because they had stayed up all night or were crashing from their sugar highs. I literally had to give two girls a time-out in opposite corners of the room because when I turned my back for a hot second, they were PULLING EACH OTHERS' HAIR. Like five year olds. And today the fire alarm went off three times. We only had to evacuate the building twice, but those happened within 15 minutes of each other.. right at the end of 6th period and the beginning of 7th. Which was actually kind of nice because it meant I didn't have to deal with my hell of a 7th for very long. Nonetheless.. it was a crazy end to a crazy week and I was more than happy to get the hell out.
What keeps me going these days is that there are some kids that I absolutely love. The ones that I can kick it with. That somehow I've gained street cred with. I don't have any specific stories to tell about them this time around.. but just know that there's still a part of me that loves my job because of these kids.
I'll end this hodgepodge post a picture of my Halloween getup. Enjoy.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you..
..Ms. Chew Rocks!! \m/
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