Desperately in love...

...with my kids.

Sometimes I forget, amongst the firedrills and fistfights and failing grades and peeing on doors, how much I really love my kids. And I know sometimes I just say that because making myself believe it gets me through the day. But today, today I was reminded that I really do love my kids. And they really are what gets me through the day.

Today my kids played in the San Francisco high school soccer championship finals against the rival school. Both our schools are in the same neighborhood and we lost to them in the finals last year, so it was a pretty big deal to play them again this year. I have like half the soccer team (and the cheerleading squad) in my classes, so naturally I had to show up to support them.

It was pouring rain, the field was a giant mud puddle mess, and we lost 2-0, but I couldn't be happier. Going to games and seeing my kids outside of the context of my classroom not only ups my street cred, but (for lack of a better phrase) it warms my heart to see my kids being kids. Hanging out with their friends and getting caught up in the moment. Even Stunna was there, forgetting to act too cool for school and cheering for the team. We had a great turn out of staff at the game and an even greater turnout of students and friends braving the freezing pouring rain to be a part of it all. I forgot how magical high school sports can be. And seeing one of my boys hugging his mom and crying after the game because he is a senior and this is his last game is an image that I will hold on to and cherish for months to come. That broke me. I remembered what my last game senior year was like, and for the first time I voluntarily hugged my kids. Kids being kids. This is what it's all about.

My Stanford buddy DK came up to catch the tail end of the game and just hang out with me in the city, and I couldn't help noticing that as we chatted at the local bar over a drink to thaw out our frozen bodies.. I couldn't stop talking about my kids. About Stunna cheering on the team, about Philip hugging his mom, about my kid in the red shoes who skipped his club tournament in LA to be with his team this weekend.. and it feels good. It feels good to forget about how frustrating and hard this teaching thing has been and just love on my kids. In this moment, right now.. it finally feels right. And I needed to write this feeling down before it's Monday again (or Tuesday, for this week.. 3-day weekend w00t!!) and I have to remind myself what the heck I'm doing this all for.