Stunna: "Ms. Chew, how old are you?"
Me: "How old do you think I am?"
Stunna: "Old enough to be sitting behind one of these desks."
..the story of my life.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Heartache to heartache, we stand.
Three days deep into the school year and what a ride it's been. I'm not gonna lie.. it's only 8:39pm as I start this post and I kind of just want to go to bed right now. So far, teaching has been completely exhausting and physically grueling.. but I kinda love it.
Getting to know the kids and learn their names slowly, but surely, has been great. Like I said at the start, they are what it's all about. And my kids, my kids are city kids to the core. Some of them have some really gut-wrenching lives, the kind that no one, much less a 16 year old, should ever have to go through. I'm going to have to do my best to convince myself that they need to be learning about physics while the world around them keeps spinning (or crashing).
On the first day of class, as their "Do Now" (equivalent of a warm-up, the whole school does them) I had my kids write about three hopes and three fears they have for my class or for the year. Many of them fear failing the class and only a handful of them put that they hope to learn something (as the third hope last in line). One student, I'll call him Stunna b/c of his "stunna shades", wrote that he's afraid of messing up this year because he'll go to real jail, not juvy anymore. He's afraid of falling into his old ways and getting into fights. He's a charmer.. the kind of student that doesn't do real well or listen to you at all, but you love him anyway because of this ineffable quality he possesses. I hope he sticks out this year ok. I hope I can serve him. I hope he stays out of jail too.
Another one of my students has really sad eyes. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was just sleepy. I wish she were just sleepy. Instead, her boyfriend of two years was shot and killed this summer. His sisters also go to our school, but I don't have them in any of my classes so I haven't interacted with them yet. How do you convince kids to care about school when their loved ones are ripped away from them? It's all I can do not to just run up to her and give her a hug and say "I'm here for you sweetie".. but at this point all I can do is smile at her and hope she knows I'm pulling for her. Today as she left class, she smiled (kinda?) and said "Bye Ms. Chew" and my heart just about fell apart. She's a trooper. She defines the word trooper.
Today during 7th period I had a student who was absolutely confrontational. That class is by far my largest class, so much so that I didn't have enough chairs set up around the desk tables. Three of the latecomers decided that they wanted to sit at the lab tables in the back, and when I asked them to pull up a stool to one of the desk tables, Ms. Faux-Hawk didn't want to have any of it. She kept throwing them 'bows, saying "man, I already got kicked out of one class today, now I'm gonna get kicked out of another". The beautiful thing, however, was that when I told her "hey, I don't want to kick you out. I'm not going to kick you out" she actually pulled up a stool and settled into class. A bit later I asked her about what happened in her other class and she totally leveled with me. Then she did a really great job on her classwork and wrote one of the most insightful responses I had seen all day. I'm excited to see where our relationship goes from here, but I'm hoping it's off to a better start.
On the lighter side of things, it's an incredible feeling that by the end of the first day, kids in the hall smile and say "Hi Ms. Chew" to me. Nevermind the fact that I only know a handful of my kids by name and that most of the time when I see them outside of my class the only way I know they have me is that they smile first/back at me. It's going to take me a good long while to get all their names down, and even more to get to know them and their stories. But I can't wait.
Last night, after work I felt like crap so I went to bed at 9pm. It felt really great but I didn't get anything done or get to hang out with anyone. Is this how my life is going to shape up to be? At least in school I get to "hang out" with my teaching colleagues. I am so looking forward to Happy Hour on Friday. And a glorious, glorious long weekend. Thank you, Mr. Labor, for having a birthday that we celebrate.
You have no idea how happy I am that hump day is over. Two more days until the long weekend. I sound like one of my kids.
Getting to know the kids and learn their names slowly, but surely, has been great. Like I said at the start, they are what it's all about. And my kids, my kids are city kids to the core. Some of them have some really gut-wrenching lives, the kind that no one, much less a 16 year old, should ever have to go through. I'm going to have to do my best to convince myself that they need to be learning about physics while the world around them keeps spinning (or crashing).
On the first day of class, as their "Do Now" (equivalent of a warm-up, the whole school does them) I had my kids write about three hopes and three fears they have for my class or for the year. Many of them fear failing the class and only a handful of them put that they hope to learn something (as the third hope last in line). One student, I'll call him Stunna b/c of his "stunna shades", wrote that he's afraid of messing up this year because he'll go to real jail, not juvy anymore. He's afraid of falling into his old ways and getting into fights. He's a charmer.. the kind of student that doesn't do real well or listen to you at all, but you love him anyway because of this ineffable quality he possesses. I hope he sticks out this year ok. I hope I can serve him. I hope he stays out of jail too.
Another one of my students has really sad eyes. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was just sleepy. I wish she were just sleepy. Instead, her boyfriend of two years was shot and killed this summer. His sisters also go to our school, but I don't have them in any of my classes so I haven't interacted with them yet. How do you convince kids to care about school when their loved ones are ripped away from them? It's all I can do not to just run up to her and give her a hug and say "I'm here for you sweetie".. but at this point all I can do is smile at her and hope she knows I'm pulling for her. Today as she left class, she smiled (kinda?) and said "Bye Ms. Chew" and my heart just about fell apart. She's a trooper. She defines the word trooper.
Today during 7th period I had a student who was absolutely confrontational. That class is by far my largest class, so much so that I didn't have enough chairs set up around the desk tables. Three of the latecomers decided that they wanted to sit at the lab tables in the back, and when I asked them to pull up a stool to one of the desk tables, Ms. Faux-Hawk didn't want to have any of it. She kept throwing them 'bows, saying "man, I already got kicked out of one class today, now I'm gonna get kicked out of another". The beautiful thing, however, was that when I told her "hey, I don't want to kick you out. I'm not going to kick you out" she actually pulled up a stool and settled into class. A bit later I asked her about what happened in her other class and she totally leveled with me. Then she did a really great job on her classwork and wrote one of the most insightful responses I had seen all day. I'm excited to see where our relationship goes from here, but I'm hoping it's off to a better start.
On the lighter side of things, it's an incredible feeling that by the end of the first day, kids in the hall smile and say "Hi Ms. Chew" to me. Nevermind the fact that I only know a handful of my kids by name and that most of the time when I see them outside of my class the only way I know they have me is that they smile first/back at me. It's going to take me a good long while to get all their names down, and even more to get to know them and their stories. But I can't wait.
Last night, after work I felt like crap so I went to bed at 9pm. It felt really great but I didn't get anything done or get to hang out with anyone. Is this how my life is going to shape up to be? At least in school I get to "hang out" with my teaching colleagues. I am so looking forward to Happy Hour on Friday. And a glorious, glorious long weekend. Thank you, Mr. Labor, for having a birthday that we celebrate.
You have no idea how happy I am that hump day is over. Two more days until the long weekend. I sound like one of my kids.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
And so it begins...
My name is Christie Chew. (Sometimes Christi). My students know me as Ms. Chew. (Sometimes Chew-Chew or Chewy). I'm about to begin my first year full-time teaching (no student-teaching or mentor teacher strings attached) so I thought I might document the perils of my first year. Who am I blogging for? Perhaps for other teachers in the same spot. Maybe for people considering the profession of teaching. But honestly, mostly to keep my sanity and have something to laugh at (or commiserate with) years down the line.
I teach at a public high school deep in the bowels of San Francisco. I teach juniors and seniors. I teach physics. And guess what? I just found out last Thursday that I teach chemistry as well, even though I haven't touched chemistry since my freshman year of high school. Such is the life of a science teacher in an inner-city high school. My class sizes range from 22 to 39 students; I have a total of 164 students on my roster for the start of the school year. My classroom is graciously spacious, but not stocked with much. And as it is with public schools around the country, we're operating on a tight budget. This is going to be and adventure.
My first day of classes is tomorrow. I'm not quite sure what to expect. I try to hold on to the ideals that I had coming into teaching--remember why it is that I volunteered for this line of work. But so far it's been tough to keep my focus and drive with no kids in my classroom. It's been great getting to know the staff at my school, especially because there are many young (maybe not-so) bright-eyed, bushy-tailed teachers just like me who are looking to change this little corner of the world. I'm just anxious to see how much life will change once those 16-18 year olds start waltzing through my door.
This year will be test to see just how much I give in to my insecurities. I'm a small gal, so I fully expect every one of my students to be bigger, taller, and meaner than me. I accept that. I'm also young, so I don't really demand respect simply by my presence (I sometimes envy teachers who have that). I've heard that what young, beginning teachers lack in experience, they more than make up for in dedication and passion for the students. I'll let you know how that goes. Oh, and of course, if I wasn't already insecure in my ability to teach and my knowledge of physics, now I have the privilege and pleasure of teaching chemistry. Chemistry, the subject that I absolutely hated in high school. The subject that I avoided in college by majoring in physics (some strange decision by the powers that be at my university). Like I said, an adventure.
Did I mention I'm homeless? I've been crashing on my friend's couch in Palo Alto for almost 2 months now. Which means I commute at least 2 hours a day to and from work. I won't get started on the reasons why I'm still homeless, but you know if I'm still homeless in a month I might need to start another blog dedicated to the perils of apartment hunting in San Francisco.
Well. I think this is a good enough start for this thing. I'm going to try to be honest, and let's hope it doesn't turn out to be all negative whining. I'll blog my favorite stories about students too (names changed, of course), because, let's face it, that's what teaching is all about.
At the end of the day, there's still nothing else I would rather be doing with my life. Welcome to the profession.
I teach at a public high school deep in the bowels of San Francisco. I teach juniors and seniors. I teach physics. And guess what? I just found out last Thursday that I teach chemistry as well, even though I haven't touched chemistry since my freshman year of high school. Such is the life of a science teacher in an inner-city high school. My class sizes range from 22 to 39 students; I have a total of 164 students on my roster for the start of the school year. My classroom is graciously spacious, but not stocked with much. And as it is with public schools around the country, we're operating on a tight budget. This is going to be and adventure.
My first day of classes is tomorrow. I'm not quite sure what to expect. I try to hold on to the ideals that I had coming into teaching--remember why it is that I volunteered for this line of work. But so far it's been tough to keep my focus and drive with no kids in my classroom. It's been great getting to know the staff at my school, especially because there are many young (maybe not-so) bright-eyed, bushy-tailed teachers just like me who are looking to change this little corner of the world. I'm just anxious to see how much life will change once those 16-18 year olds start waltzing through my door.
This year will be test to see just how much I give in to my insecurities. I'm a small gal, so I fully expect every one of my students to be bigger, taller, and meaner than me. I accept that. I'm also young, so I don't really demand respect simply by my presence (I sometimes envy teachers who have that). I've heard that what young, beginning teachers lack in experience, they more than make up for in dedication and passion for the students. I'll let you know how that goes. Oh, and of course, if I wasn't already insecure in my ability to teach and my knowledge of physics, now I have the privilege and pleasure of teaching chemistry. Chemistry, the subject that I absolutely hated in high school. The subject that I avoided in college by majoring in physics (some strange decision by the powers that be at my university). Like I said, an adventure.
Did I mention I'm homeless? I've been crashing on my friend's couch in Palo Alto for almost 2 months now. Which means I commute at least 2 hours a day to and from work. I won't get started on the reasons why I'm still homeless, but you know if I'm still homeless in a month I might need to start another blog dedicated to the perils of apartment hunting in San Francisco.
Well. I think this is a good enough start for this thing. I'm going to try to be honest, and let's hope it doesn't turn out to be all negative whining. I'll blog my favorite stories about students too (names changed, of course), because, let's face it, that's what teaching is all about.
At the end of the day, there's still nothing else I would rather be doing with my life. Welcome to the profession.
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